the tears should start any moment now....Rasheeda has been on the run for almost a month now. TODAY IS HER 15th BIRTHDAY i have done all I could to be the best mother she could have and nothing is ever good enough for her. she would rather run the streets with her friends than to follow any kind of rules. i know i was a bit of a wild child but the the things she is doing...i had a lot more respect for myself , for a kid with low self esteem. Now shes in a gang....YA ALLAH what am i going to do. i cant lose my only child. i mean i can because u are LORD but i would lose my mind.what is my purpose in life if its not to be a mother to Rasheeda.

2 days old

i feel like i have fucked up everything in my life. i know that i havent and that its other ppl who dictate their time in my life.i KNOW i am stronger than i give my self credit for but it hurts soooo bad and i cant stop crying. i know i need to go back on my medication because im snapping at everyone and everything irks the hell out of me. I HAVE BEEN BEGGING THEM FOR THE LAST TWO YEARS FOR HELP! I AINT GOT IT YET! we have been in therapy, and on medication FOREVER. i have taken classes...i have done everything within my power to help my child.

She has had a hand in pushing family members away. i feel so alone in this world because EVERYONE thought i was making a bigger issue out of Rasheedas issues than there really was. Mind u there wasnt really any help to be given but LOTS of opinions. OPINIONS ARE LIKE ASSHOLES EVERYONE HAS ONE AND ITS USUALLY FULL OF SHIT! Who would have thunk 15 years ago today we would be going through what we are going through

They all look innocent when they are younger. she has fallen in with a bad crowd....she no longer values anything she was taught

She went from being a good student to FAILING again.....but she wants to be a lawyer.....im scared shes going to need a lawyer...

Shes NO LONGER our little girl... NO LONGER MY BABY GIRL

the tears wont stop.......I LOVE YOU DOODLE HAPPY 15TH BIRTHDAY I PRAY ALLAH RETURNS YOUR HEART TO HIM IN A HURRY TO SAVE YOU FROM YOUR SLEF!

I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU A U GAVE ME A REASON TO LIVE AND GROW AND GROW UP! THANK YOU ALLAH FOR MAKING ME HER MOTHER!